Ten Bites at The Apple

I had a friend ask me today why I hadn't "blogged" here in so long. Two things:

1) I've been a bit busy of late,
2) Someone's reading this blog??
Anyway, he specifically came all the way from London to tell me this so the least I can do is oblige.

It was nice having someone around who had a fresh pair of eyes with which to view the city. It's becoming all too easy to slip into a mundane routine and to forget where you are. Without it being pointed out to me I wouldn't have given a second look at the shifty dealers in Washington Square Park or even at the man talking to a tree. I hadn't noticed school term was about to begin either and that NYU was filling up today; kids arriving with sparkly white kitchen appliances, VHS and DVD players, TVs and Playstations. Once again Bleecker Street will be filled with the shouts and wretching of teenagers into the early hours of the morning. I miss higher education.

It got me thinking, I've just had a couple of weeks out of the box and been back to Blighty, while it's fresh maybe now's a good time to remember the goods and bads about living in this fair city. So, in one of those High Fidelity moments, here are two lists of five (almost).

NY Bottom 5s:
1) Concrete jungle fever.

I guess it's a bit like those bears you see in the zoos that have gone a little loco because they've been in a confined space for so long.
2) Ear, nose and throat attack.

The ability to successfully spew forth all forms of pollution: from smog that sits at the back of your throat to the 4ft high wall of pungent garbage bags that lie out on the streets and then require collection - at the social hour of 3am. Between the sirens, trucks and traffic there's not much peace to be had at any hour.
3) Huh? Wah?

Annunciation has completely the opposite effect. Unless you're able to string your sentence into one complete word then you're not going to get anywhere. "Youwannapaycashcreditordebit?" I was asked today. It's English Jim but not as we know it. And "telephone customer assistance" has got to be the greatest modern misnomer to date. They don't understand me and I don't understand them.
4) Hidden costs.

Between tipping, sales tax and bank fees what you thought was a good price turns out to be a downright dishonest twisting of the truth. Get Nicky Campbell and his Watchdog crew over here.

5) Excess.

There's a disgusting amount of waste, from the supersized food portions to the energy consumption. Sadly you feel more a part of the problem than the solution.

NY Top 5s:
1) That skyline.

Whether it be in the distance or close-up, it just never loses its 'wow factor'. It's worth growing the hairs on the back of your neck just so they can stand up.
2) Being an urban explorer.

Pack up provisions and appropriate weapons and then hit the streets in search of lost bars, restaurants, cafes, galleries and shops. There are discoveries to be made at every turn: I stumbled upon an outdoor trapeze school in Tribeca, and on the way to work the equivalent of a dozen mini gardening centres sprawling onto 27th Street with hundreds of small trees, shrubs and plants pulled out onto the sidewalk every morning, and of course you can't go too long without seeing filming taking place of some kind - Spiderman the Third zipping around the streets was particularly impressive.
3) Les Arts.

With galleries and museums packed full of exhibitions, the city has to squeeze shows into the most unlikely of places. A photo exhibition was suspended from the trees in my local park this week. Film, theatre, art, dance, music - it's pouring out onto the streets and NY does a great job in promoting it all with free concerts and performances throughout the year.
4) Rooftop bars.

It's got its fair share and there's no better city in the world to be in one. Sunset over The Hudson seen between the skyscrapers while sipping your over-priced cocktail, the Chrysler Building catching every known shade of red and yellow that the pollution has managed to concoct - perhaps the only upside to not signing in Kyoto.

230 Fifth - where the cocktails come with umbrellas and a palm tree

5) You're starring in your own movie.

Whether they've been here or not everyone knows this city through film and television - it's almost like deja-vu the first time you visit - and now you get to walk around the actual set with 2m extras, sirens wailing, people shouting in their thick accents, steam pluming out of the streets, the ordinary and the extraordinary all around you. Buy a hotdog or pretzel from a street vendor or hop in a cab and rattle off an address in midtown... get lucky and the driver may have even understood what you said.

Counting was never one of my strong points...

6) Food glorious food.

Arrive thin, leave large. Close your eyes and toss a bread roll in any direction and you're guaranteed to hit a restaurant, cafe, bistro or pigeon. New Yorkers instinctively refer to an area by the quality of its eateries, "I live in the East Village, yeah, it's got great places to eat," or "Oh yeah, I love Chelsea, there are some fantastic restaurants there." Live a lifetime here and you could probably go without ever having to visit the same restaurant twice.

7) The passion.

New Yorkers are nothing if not passionate. On the street, in work, at the sport's bar, at the baseball game, whatever the circumstances you won't get a withering, apologetic or timid response. And it rubs off on the outsiders too. Yes, I have instinctively shouted at a cyclist who cut me up at a crossing, "Hey! I'm walkin' here!" Hoffman eat your heart out.
8) The clincher.

You get to say, "I live in New York".